Good Grief.

Some Ways I've Been Processing Mine

Last week was the one year anniversary of my Dad’s death. I wrote down some of my thoughts in this post….

One Year Without Dad.

Can grief be good? I believe it can be.

Some days, grief might be paralyzing. But for me, grief is way that I remember my Dad. It’s an inside desire that things could be different. And a reminder of how much he loved me, and how much I still love him.

This week, I wanted to share some awesome things I’ve found that help me feel the feelings I want to feel. I do not want to say that grief is something we go through, but rather, it’s something we carry with us forever.

I hope some of these things I mention below can be of help to you or someone you know to make room for your own grief processing—which I believe can be a really good thing.

I just discovered that Anderson Cooper has a podcast dedicated to grief. And boy, it’s powerful. He explores his deeply personal exploration of grief in all its complexities. In moving and honest discussions, he learns from others who've experienced life-altering losses. It’s called “All There Is” and it’s about the people we lose, the people left behind, and how we can live on — with loss and with love.

I loved his episode called “Sharing Our Grief” - listen here. In this episode, Anderson shares voice mails from listeners sharing their personal grief stories. Grab a Kleenex, it’s a doozie. In a really good way.

Some of things I heard in this episode that hit me deep:

“One of the most common experiences is loss.”
”My grief is useful to others in grief. And their grief is useful to me.”
”The more I share, the more other people open up to me.”
”Grief doesn’t have to be scary and we can do it together.”
”It’s OK to acknowledge life is easier without him in it.”
”Your grief is real.”
”Begin by choosing the next thing you can do.”
”Give yourself space to grieve.”
”I hope you know you’re not alone.”

I’m reading “A Heart That Works,” an incredible book by the actor Rob Delaney (Amazon link to book). He’s hilarious and raw. And carries within him a gigantic heart. And a truckload of grief. The book is a story of what happens when you lose a child, and everything you discover about life in the process. I can’t recommend it enough. (click to expand the images)

And speaking of Rob Delaney, he’s in a TV series I just finished watching this past weekend called “Dying For Sex” (Hulu). And yes, it’s about sex (you probably don’t want to watch it with your mom), but it’s more about dying. And ultimately, it’s all about the power of love. Michelle Williams is breathtaking in every scene, and her best friend, Jenny Slate, is also phenomenal. It’s eight short episodes, and the final one had me bawling the entire time. It’s also extremely hilarious (especially Rob’s character) but ungirded with so much heart you will be better for watching.

“Accidentally Brave” (MAX) is a filmed staged production of Maddie Corman’s remarkable one-person show. She’s an actress who found out about a dark secret her husband had been hiding and how it upended her life, as you can imagine. It’s a phenomenal, gutsy performance about how to move through grief. It’s so good.

Did you know Ed Sheeran did an album about grief? It’s called - [subtract sign]. On the opening track “Boat” Ed sings, “They say that all scars will heal, but I know maybe I won’t. But the waves won’t break my boat.” The song “Eyes Closed” was a minor hit, and I love it so much. He wrote it after the death of his closest friend: “I’m dancing with my eyes closed, cause everywhere I look I still see you.” This video is amazing, with his grief being represented by a larger-than-life, blue, stuffed animal.

Thanks for reading today— I hope you get to check out some of these things and then let me know what you think. I’m sending you great love for whatever you’re going through. Let’s go through it together.