What's It Like Being Famous?
Finding Success in Grounding Rather Than Accomplishments
Do you ever look at celebrities and try to imagine what their lives must be like? Why do we have this obsession with famous people—a strange fascination that keeps dozens of websites, magazines, and television shows in business? An allure that can also make us feel like living our simple, normal lives has a kind of “less than” quality to them.
I believe we see celebrities as living a life that is much better than our own. And perhaps by getting a closer look at their private lives we can see what makes them so special, so separate, and also…what makes them normal just like us.
I’ve had a ton of conversations with people at all different levels of fame, whether I was working as a DJ at a radio station or writing about music for a bunch of magazines. Across the board, everyone will admit there is always a higher level of success they could achieve (a discontent mixed with the reality that there’s always going to be somebody more successful), as well as the constant awareness that everything could disappear at any moment. The smart ones are grateful, and would never want to appear otherwise. But, in their most private moments, you might hear something like this…
I present: a fictional conversation with a conglomerate of celebs I’ve met
Me: First off, do you feel any different about yourself now that you’re famous?
Jake: Honestly, there are some things that I’m more confident about, but there are also some of the same things that I’m insecure about. I haven’t changed, except maybe being busier than ever. The interesting thing is to see how life and people around me have changed.
Me: Like having more and more people take an interest in you as a person, and not just your music?
Jake: Absolutely. It’s frickin’ weird! Seriously... weird. Like, life becomes a fight to hang onto what used to be normal, because everything and (almost) everyone around you becomes un-normal.
Me: What do you mean by “un-normal?”
Jake: I can’t tell anymore if people look at me from across the room because they recognize me, or if they think I might be someone they should recognize, or if I actually used to know them. Heck, maybe they’re just trying to be nice! It’s become nearly impossible to know why people are being nice to me, probably because I’ve trained myself to constantly be evaluating people’s motives. Which can be exhausting, by the way.
Me: Does it seem like some people just want a piece of you, you know, to make their life more complete?
Jake: Yes, at times, it’s crazy. There can be people everywhere pulling and tugging and begging and even crying...for attention. I can’t help but get a bit cynical about it...wondering why certain people don’t have more of a life. I used to think, “If you only knew the real me, you probably wouldn’t like me anymore.”
Me: How do you fight against that cynicism?
Jake: My goal is to project an image that is very, very close to who I really am. Some artists don’t have that opportunity—they have to act a role that has been created to help sell records. That’s showbiz, right? Of course, strangers can’t know me completely, thankfully so! But I’ve worked very hard to make sure that I don’t advertise anything false so people aren’t liking me for something I’m not.
Me: Has a fan ever freaked you out?
Jake: Sure. Some strangers think that they know you better than they really do...and that’s a little scary. Or some people have carved out such a huge place in their life for their fantasies about me that they have lost all sense of personal boundaries. That’s a bit frightening.
Me: What have you found that helps you stay grounded, when it seems like the whole world is going nuts around you?
Jake: It’s extremely important to have my family and a supportive group of friends surrounding me. People who know everything about me (I mean EVERYTHING), and still love me deeply. They are cheering me on, but at the same time, they don’t care if I ever accomplish anything more. They actually would prefer if I was home more often. Their phone calls and emails mean the world to me when I’m away.
Me: That sounds like a great way to live whether you’re famous or not!
Jake: Right! I truly am grateful for all the amazing opportunities I’ve been given and the chance to get to know some really fascinating people. I am very blessed, not because I’m famous, but because I’m loved. I’m loved deeply by people who I love deeply, as well. We are walking together, sharing life, in all its glories and disappointments. My family, my friends and I, we all need each other to continually point out the truth about ourselves, not some fantasy world that we all tend to gravitate toward.
Me: That’s a kind of success I’d wish for anyone.
Jake: Me too!
When the whole world is swirling around you, make sure you have grounding—friends, family, a home—a place of rest and authenticity where you can land.
Did you know I wrote and recorded a parody song about being famous? It’s called “Superfamous (I Just Want To Be Famous)” and was featured in an episode of Bibleman!