What Makes You Happy?

Here’s a peek at my kitchen counter!

I love the picture on the left of my happy family after seeing a good Twins game. And of course, I love the mug on the right relating to my song “Brave.” But it’s the piece in the middle that might be the most controversial. What? What’s controversial about happiness?

Some people would argue against doing what makes you happy because it might turn you into a lazy, not-willing-to-do-the-hard-work-life-requires hedonist. BEWARE!

But it doesn’t say JUST do what makes you happy. For me, it means do just a little bit more of what makes you happy than you’ve done in the past. It’s a daily reminder that my happiness is important and accessible. I can get busy or distracted, even with being creative and productive, that I forget about taking care of myself. There are all kinds of ways of taking care of ourselves socially, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I need to be intentional about addressing each of these.

Another important aspect of this simple phrase is that it keeps me present in the moment, as opposed to waiting for my happiness to happen sometime in the future, as if I’m waiting for a payoff for all my hard work. Because THEN I’ll be happy.

Holding expectations of future happiness is a great recipe for resentment, especially when you get tired of waiting for what you want.

Seeking to do what makes me happy today, takes the pressure off the future to offer it to me later. Phew!

But addressing my joy might be the most difficult, and perhaps like the definition above says, the most important. It’s pretty easy to end up settling for what we have to do or with what’s offered to us. We end up watching TV or phone scrolling. We can also get super busy taking care of everyone else, that we forget about ourselves. And then we wonder why our life feels so blasé.

So let me ask you, what makes YOU happy? And how can you be more intentional about adding more of it into your life?

Why I Need Reminding

My upbringing in super-conservative religion ingrained in me that I needed to “die to myself,” meaning, I had to surrender any of my own desires for happiness. My job was to make other people happy, but most importantly, make God happy with me.

When people talked about becoming a missionary or a pastor, the church would applaud. No one who wants to be a recording artist, a CEO, or the President gets applauded. That reeks of ambition—something also off-limits. And it would draw too much attention to yourself, which would be the worst. BE HUMBLE!

As if you couldn’t do certain things and still be humble.

I also thought to myself, “But we need more people doing awesome things in culture where we can demonstrate love, humility, and generosity!” But the order from above to be humble meant not doing things that would make me happy.

(I didn’t listen very well to that instruction, and I’m super grateful for that.)

My move to Nashville and development of my music career was riddled with these voices clanking around in my head: “Don’t think you’re worthy. Don’t think you’re better than anybody. Don’t seek acclaim or attention.” (Which would pretty much neuter a person’s actions who is seeking to bring their talent to life.)

Should I just play nursing homes and hospitals, instead of wanting the bigger stages that I see the professionals playing on?

I constantly wondered if going after my joy was riddled with selfishness. And that the reason I wasn’t getting the pro opportunities I desired was because my attitude wasn’t right, and God was punishing me. Wait…hold on… God was punishing me because I wasn’t perfect and pure in all my motives and actions? Yes, I believed that.

I pressed on, believing that what I was doing could actually help people, and would bring me some joy along the way. I’m convinced it did, and still does. But I have to keep reminding myself to seek my own happiness, to find the joy in what I’m doing. Because it’s so easy to forget.

If there’s joy in what you’re doing, you will already have the success you desire.