What It Was Like Going To Prison

One of the very best things in my life was the time I spent going into a Nashville prison as a volunteer on a weekly basis for about 23 years. I thought the experience was going to be about changing the guys on the inside. But, of course, it ended up changing me.

From time to time, we'd put on events for the guys with food and music. They were always so grateful for "real" food.

How Did I Get Started Going to Prison?

A seed was planted a long, long time ago, I don’t know where or why. It just was. So when a group from church went to do a concert for the guys, I was all in. I had to see what it was all about. A group of inmates met us in the gym and helped us set-up, which became the context for conversations about families, hobbies, music, sports, etc.

One of the inmates looked like my baseball hero, Kirby Puckett, with a smile as wide as his broad shoulders. Before we left, he asked if I wouldn’t mind coming back to visit him. He said he’d only been a Christian since being inside, and would love to know more what it means to be a Christian so he’d be better prepared when he gets out. “Um…How do you say no to that?” was my response.

We started meeting on a weekly basis…and it was so good. We decided we needed to invite others guys. So he invited guys from the inside, and I invited guys from the outside. 23 years later, and a revolving door of inmates, guards, chaplains, and wardens, we were still holding weekly “Life Group” meetings.

“Life Group” was about creating a safe space to ask questions, to explore, to be challenged, to know and be known, and to see each other in each other.

L: Some of the singers from church, R: One of my favorite solo concerts when the inmate band backed me!

How Did Going to Prison for 23 Years Change Me?

I can no longer judge people I meet. People you see on the news — the horrible mugshot taken on what might be the worst day of their life — becomes a person that has a story, family, friends, hurts, joys, passion, insecurities, defenses… but more than anything, they are a child of God… which makes me their brother.

We all have very complex backstories that have shaped us and brought us to the place we are right now. I heard some of the most unfathomable stories about things that happened to my buddies in the past, many from a very young age. After hearing a particularly tragic story, I told one friend, “It’s a miracle you’re alive, and even more so that you’re such a brilliant and enjoyable person to be around!”

When we take time to listen to people’s stories, we are able to show grace and compassion like never imagined. Empathy blossoms. The “other” become real humans, instead of easily dismissible statistics or demographic groups.

I’ve had well-meaning Christians question why I’d help someone who did…(fill in the blank—usually something that sounds pretty bad). It was jaw-dropping to me. “How can you say that about someone you don’t even know?” I discovered that I, too, had learned to draw lines in the sand between me and the people who were “good enough” to deserve my love and my help. But I couldn’t do that any longer.

As I got to know some of these guys who I would’ve previously deemed “unworthy” it became clear to me how I had been loving conditionally… and that it was time for me to learn what it truly means to love unconditionally. To say to these guys… and anyone else: It doesn’t matter to me what you’ve done, what you’re doing, what you’re going to do… I’m with you, I’m not going anywhere, and I don’t want you to go through it alone.

My time going to prison awakened me to the tragedy of how we can literally “throw away” some of our people because of something they did. They literally are treated like they don’t matter anymore. Every time I walked through those gates I was saying to those guys: You Matter! Perhaps this is the best way to love someone. As a person of faith, this has helped clarify the Good News: God says everyone matters, no matter what.

I want to continually be that voice of love and hope to anyone who has been told they don’t matter. Wanna join me?

My softball team would go inside and play some pretty intense games...and then eat food!

What I Loved About Visiting Prison:

-I got to step outside of myself—my little world and little perspectives, and saw how privileged I really am.
-It helped clarify my own beliefs.
-I got to affirm the deep worth of a person who has been told they have no value.
-I got to know grace and unconditional love, and how the best way to know it is to show it.
-I got to see people come alive to the idea of being loved, including myself.

Visiting prison isn’t for everyone, I get that. But what might be something you could do that would get you outside of yourself, and give you an opportunity to serve and grow in a way you never imagined?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!!

So thankful to have met my friend Chaplain Dan Haskins while he was working in the prison I visited. He has been an amazing source of support and encouragement in all my creative endeavors. Please join me in sending extra amounts of love to him and his wife on their journey.

Did you know Oscar-winning actor Sir Anthony Hopkins is quite the extraordinary piano player? Yes, he is! I love how this video is labeled, “Something about a piano in an empty lobby.” I have done the same on many lobby pianos!