Shit.
It’s Monday night. My dad died this morning.
And I’m worn out from all the crying. I’m so sad.
(This is a picture of him throwing rocks into the water up on the North Shore of Lake Superior, a place we used to love to go camping as a family back in the 70s. Maybe this is what heaven is like?)
We’ve been preparing for this day for the past six months as my dad has faced one horrible health challenge after another. Even back in November, it just seemed like his body was shutting down. But dad kept kicking...bravely facing each new day. His heart and lungs were great. His mind…well, that came and went.
But we kept on loving each other. And even more so as time progressed.
Through all the tears, all the almost goodbyes, all the horrible jokes and laughter, all the meals, all the hospital runs, all the wondering if this would be the time, the love flowed like a soothing river through our family.
Hallelujah.
Dad’s struggle is over. It’s been unbelievably hard knowing he was literally watching his own body shut down. He was soooo tired. And weak. And he hated that he was losing his ability to find words, or remember things. I hated it with him. But now, hallelujah, he’s free. I’m grateful and broken.
I’m Dad-icating My New Song to My Dad
You might know that I’m preparing for the release of my next single, “Brave.” And my first thought today has been, how can I promote anything now?" Both my mom and sister agree that Dad would want me to keep on schedule. And honestly, I think having a project like this is going to be really good for me to keep going. But I’m now going to “dadicate” the song to my dad.
I recently sat next to him in his hospital bed and told him about this song and all the work we were doing to promote it. I sang him the chorus “It's time to brave, Walk through the fire, To hold your head high, Keep your eyes on the prize, You're not going down, You're going through, Its time to be brave!”
Then he said, “Boy, that’s a song I need right now!” And he was. He was brave til the end.
I hope this song inspires you to be brave through whatever battles you are fighting right now. It’d be a tremendous help to me as an independent artist to have you click and pre-save my song. Just follow this link… or click on the cover just below. And thank you!
One More Thing…
People keep saying, “Let me know if I can do anything!”
I’m grateful for the outpouring of love and compassion, but honestly, I can’t possibly go through my text messages and Facebook comments and tell people what they can do for us. That sounds exhausting.
But I do have two things to say about this.
Do something. If you asked us what we need today the answer is invariably, I don’t know… Tylenol, for starters! If you want to show people you care, do something. Don’t wait to be asked. Imagine what you might need or want in a time like this, and do that. Food is never a wrong choice. We have been blessed by several people who have graced us with bags of food or gift cards along the way.
But here’s the better answer. If you ask me if you can do anything I’ll say this: Love your people. Love them extravagantly. Go out of your way to care for them. Set aside the things that can come between us like religious and political differences, and choose to love. Seek to bring comfort where there is sorrow and pain. Seek to feed the hungry. Offer rest and shelter to the weary. Bring joy to the sad. Sit in silence next to those who can’t find words.
I’m so glad I got to love my dad as much as I did. And I’m so glad he loved me as much as he did. It makes it all the more difficult, but it makes it so much better because we did it while we could.
So…my friend, please do it while you can.
Dadicate love this. So much. Mark thanks for sharing. Being so open. Death sucks. So
Glad I got to hang with your dad at your concert. He IS so proud of you.
I’m so sorry you are going through this great loss, my friend. But I know your Dad is so very proud of you and will be cheering you on “from the bleachers” as they say. The passing of a parent is one of those profound moments in life that takes a while to grieve and process. Just take extra care of yourself during this time. The best advice I got after my Dad passed was so simple. “Drink a lot of water”. It sounds silly, but especially after a good cry, you’ll be surprised at what a cold glass of 8 oz of water will do for the body and soul. Love you.