Not Having The Answers
Some Thoughts On Surrendering
Last week I told you that I’m conducting a bit of an experiment. A thirty-day attempt to not feel like I have to always land the plane…that I don’t have to have the answers to anything…that I don’t have to wrap anything up with a nice bow…that I don’t even have to try to figure out all the “right” things I’m supposed to be doing. Here’s a link to last week’s post if you’d like to read it!
I hope this writing is helping and inspiring to you, as we are living in very chaotic times, and it’s easy to feel like you have to figure out what’s actually going on, how you feel about it, and what you should be doing about it. Those are good things, but it might be more important to focus on your own peace of mind, first and foremost, before diving into the world’s problems.
Ultimately, this is about Surrender.
About letting go.
About living with open hands, rather than clenched fists.
It’s about living with uncertainty.
I’ve written a lot about surrender - here - here - here - and this one (that talks about faith being more about living with uncertainty than having the answers). Obviously, it’s a topic that’s important to me. Probably because I struggle with it so much.
This past week I’ve been walking around, going through my days…and catching myself in my familiar patterns: I wonder what I should do about _______? I really should be doing ______! I wonder what it means that I do _______?
These are not bad questions. It’s just that I tend to live in a constant state of questioning, wondering, figuring…and guess what? It’s EXHAUSTING!
Don’t get me wrong, I love that I’m a problem-solver. If you need something fixed…a computer or a relationship…I GOT YOU!
But I’d like a little breather…perhaps a new way of looking at my life…and my creative output. Because I’ve been so focused on doing things in order to get a certain outcome. And then feeling disappointment when those certain outcomes don’t materialize.
So when these familiar questions come up, I pause. And remind myself, I don’t need to figure it out. I don’t need my life to be driven by how it can be better.
Cause you know what? My life is beautiful, and full of incredible blessings. I don’t live with any stress. I live in a quiet apartment. I have an amazing family, and so many friends who care deeply about me.
I want to cherish the way things are right now, living in the present moment, cherishing it for the gift that it is. And then see what I can create out of that place.
We’ll see…
But for now, the view is gorgeous.
