Normalizing Rejection

So I tried. And it didn’t work.

When I posted on Facebook last Friday that I had auditioned for “The Voice” television singing competition, and was immediately told that I’m not moving on, I wasn’t thinking that I was “normalizing rejection,” as my friend Marcia put it. But I love that she said that.

I was simply thinking that I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t share some “not so great” things from to time.

The comments people have left on my post are incredible. I feel so beautifully encouraged.

One person posted a rejection letter that Bono of the band U2 received early in his career. Another mentioned how Michael Jordan wasn’t accepted to his high school varsity basketball team (as a sophomore). Others mentioned very successful singers who were also “rejected” from “The Voice” or “American Idol.”

I loved what Greg wrote: “Your audience is out there. Keep on.”

So I will.

The number of auditions I’ve done over my lifetime must rank into the thousands. And especially with the acting or voice-over auditions, you submit your best and then you usually never hear a thing. Serious silence. And then you’re watching TV one day and you see the role you were passed over for. It is a strange life.

As I’m working to build my career as a singer/songwriter I’m always looking for ways to keep moving forward, to keep building and growing. I saw “The Voice” as a rocket-ship training session, something that wouldn’t necessarily bring fame and fortune (most contestants don’t experience that), but would help me to grow as an artist and help me find an audience for Marcus Royce.

A big part of my “reinvention” is realizing that doing the same things over and over won’t bring about different results. And looking back at how I was doing things, I was doing the same things over and over, and simply getting frustrated how I wasn’t getting different results. I’m now in the phase of “Ooooh, let’s try that!” Which has led me to connecting with Danny and his company in London.

Danny is a remarkably brilliant and compassionate young man who has his pulse on the music business in the UK, and knows all about artist development (which is the phase I’m kinda in right now.) He continually offers ideas to me of things to do that I’ve never done….and I’m enjoying it so much. I love looking at some of his ideas and thinking, “That sounds crazy… let’s do it!” We’ve got some really fun things planned to share with you very soon

But I know some things won’t work. And that’s ok.

I usually let myself feel a bit of sadness… how long that lingers is based on how much expectation I have wrapped up in a particular opportunity. But you get up, brush off the dirt, and then it’s, “What’s next?”

Perserverence is rooted in curiousity, a thirst for adventure, confidence, and hope. I have to believe that there are good things yet to come for me. If I don’t, why do anything at all.

Some of us have experienced a lot of rejection. And I know how tempting it is to soak in the frustration of that a bit longer than what might be deemed “healthy.” I’ve been trapped in self-pity many, many times—which can suck the life out of you! But it can also be a time of reminding yourself of your great worth and value. I need to remind myself of my talent, experience, training, etc… and that when I don’t get picked for something it’s not because of “not being good enough,” but usually because of “not being the right choice.”

Can you feel how that breathes a lot more, than constantly saying “you’re not good enough?”

We just need to keep looking for the places where we are the right choice. And continually celebrate the crazy ups and downs of this grand journey.

Want a good chuckle? I was cast in a commercial last week for a local car dealership. Success!! This is sooooooo silly and I hope it makes you want to buy a truck.

One Last Encouragement

I absolutely love this prayer from Cole Arthur Riley:

God of every beautiful thing, make us people of wonder. Show us how to hold on to nuance and vision when our souls become addicted to pain, to the unlovely. It is far easier to see the gloom and decay; so often it sings a louder song. Attune our hearts to the good still stirring in our midst, not that we would give ourselves to toxic positivity or neglect the pain of the world, but that we would be people capable of existing in the tension. Let the mundane swell with a mystery that makes us breathe deeper still. And by this, may we be sustained and kept from despair. Amen.