How To Build A Wall

To Protect Those On Your Side and Keep Out the Others

This is a difficult topic to write about. But I believe it’s an important one, especially as it’s being exemplified in the political spectrum…and unfortunately, spilling over into the church. I hope this essay can offer some understanding and hope.

I’m continually fascinated by the dissenting voices I hear among people who consider themselves Christians. I’m not surprised, per se, since dissent amongst religious people is a tale as old as time. But it can sure clarify what people’s agendas are.

I am surprised at how people seem to have no awareness of how their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are being crafted by people who might have a different agenda than it appears on the surface.

This is a very challenging topic to dive into because it’s so nuanced.

If I’m going to step way back and get a 10,000 foot view, it can appear that large swaths of people can be divided into either pro-principle or pro-people people: “We must stick to these particular principles or we are worthless as people,” or “We must focus on helping people, or else we are doomed as a race.” I’ve seen these variances in different churches I’ve attended, and these two groups also seem to be divided into our two major political parties. Controversial Take: To me, the Jesus-approach seems more about helping people, rather than making sure principles are upheld.

How To Build A Wall

Here’s some bad news: in order to strengthen your position, and enlarge the size of your tribe, you have to create enemies out of the people who don’t want what you want. The “others” literally must appear to be a threat to all that you believe. This can be called “tribalism.” Again, a tale as old as time.

If you do this, then you will feel completely justified building your wall. For you, it might not be a brick wall, but it could be a subtle choice not to associate with certain types of people. Sure, we all have our preferences, but we can let our preferences turn into (what we think is) the gospel truth.

When I was doing prison ministry in Nashville, I (too many times) had people say, “How can you hang out with THOSE people?” If I did something to help a prisoner or their family in need I heard, “How can you help THOSE people?” We’re so good at othering people who we don’t know, don’t understand, or have been told are a threat to our way of living.

Have you ever struck up a friendship with someone you had previously “othered” and thought, maybe I was wrong all those years. I hope so.

We build walls when we think other people might get in the way of us getting what we want. And we find people to connect with who share our beliefs and/or appear to be able to help us get what we want. If our agenda is to make our government more Christian, we’re going to view anyone who doesn’t share that desire as a threat. What ever happened to the separation of church and state?

No Walls For Me, I Desire Connection

I crave experiences of unity. I believe I was created for connection. I’ll go so far to say that we have all been created for connection—an awareness that we’re not simply stray space objects floating aimlessly and alone through a vast nothingness. Connection also gives us the chance to learn how to love, and how to let ourselves be loved.

A family can offer our first taste of connection and belonging—I’m grateful and privileged mine did. I grew up knowing I belonged in the family Smeby. Schools and churches can also offer chances to feel a sense of belonging. “We are the Warriors, the mighty, mighty Warriors,” I recall hearing chanted at my high school in Omaha. We connected with each other over common interests and passions.

I don’t remember much about the classes I took, but I do remember cherishing the times of connection I experienced, like the comraderie built when we put on the “Once Upon A Mattress” musical.

All of life holds moments where we can experience connection…or not.

I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit I can feel sad and hollow when I don’t experience unity and connection—especially when I go into a situation where I’d really like to. More often than not, going to church is a disheartening experience for me. It can feel more like a time where we (hopefully) briefly say hello to the people we like, sing a few songs, sit placidly during the sermon, and then rush off to the next thing.

One of the key points of a person’s spiritual life is an acceptance of a connection with our fellow humans, with all of creation, and with God.

Why Do We Like to Believe We Are More Disconnected Than Connected?

“CBS Sunday Morning” this past weekend put on a fascinating episode, debunking many of the things we believe about our culture, showing that we hang on to certain beliefs even if they aren’t true. Check out this one clip…I found it very hope-inducing.

It’s easier to believe that we are not united, because then we can blame and point fingers at those “others” who will surely destroy our society, and we’ll be proven right when it all goes down. But being connected with other people challenges us, makes us more understanding, more patient, more aware of what love is. And shows us what things really matter, things we can all agree on.

In solitude I don’t have to change. I can just maintain my own thoughts and beliefs about how I think the world should be. I can be critical of others from the safety of my sofa. It doesn’t require anything of me.

But if we are united—one nation under God, for instance—and we see the “others” as our family, then we have a different responsibility to care for and help them. The walls we had built need to be torn down.

My family has been divided on some big issues over the years. But it was something we all decided we wanted to work through, BECAUSE WE’RE FAMILY. And we all grew (literally over the past five or so years) to believe that family, loving and caring for each other, is the most important thing in life.

And my life has been radically changed because of it. ❤️

I’d love to hear your stories, your comments, your questions…please let me know!

My latest music release is “Brave: Reimagined”—six versions of the same song! Have you heard (my fav) the piano vocal version? You can stream this project on all the music services like Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, YouTube, and others. Here’s a video I made capturing the recording process in the studio.